Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Over the past weeks, we've walked together through territory that most people will never understand: In Letter 40, we explored why you can do everything "right"—therapy, support groups, all the memorials and rituals and still hurt just as deeply. We looked at the collision between the cultural paradigm that treats grief as a problem to solve and the spiritual reality that your relationship with your child didn't end; it transformed. In Letter 41, we...
3 days ago • 5 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Over the past weeks in this series, we've explored why doing everything "right" in grief still leaves you hurting, how child loss creates a sacred wound that opens five loops of grief, why the harsh inner voice is an autonomous complex, and how your identity crisis is actually sacred initiation. This week, I want to address one of the most tormenting loops: the Unfinished Bond Loop. The conversations you never got to have. The words left unsaid. The...
10 days ago • 11 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Over the past weeks in this series, we've explored why doing everything "right" in grief still leaves you hurting, how child loss creates a sacred wound that opens five loops of grief, and why the harsh inner voice that turned against you is an autonomous complex that cannot be thought away. This week, I want to address something that sits beneath all of this: the profound disorientation of no longer recognizing yourself. You look in the mirror and see...
18 days ago • 12 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Over the past two weeks, we've explored why you can do everything "right" in grief and still hurt deeply, and how child loss creates a sacred wound that opens five distinct loops of grief that therapy cannot close. This week, I want to address something you've likely been experiencing. You might have a voice in your head that has turned cruel. The one that sounds nothing like the compassion you'd offer another grieving mother. The one that tells you to...
about 1 month ago • 7 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Last week, we explored why you can do everything "right" in grief and still hurt just as deeply. This week, I want to go deeper into the question that sits at the heart of your ongoing pain: Why are you still hurting like this? You've done the therapy. You've attended the support groups. You've created beautiful memorials. You've honored your child in every way you know how. You've been the strong one, the organized one, the one who does everything...
about 2 months ago • 9 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, If you've spent years trying to hold yourself together with dignity... If you've created memorials and rituals and legacy projects to honor your child... If you have attended all the grief support groups, gone to therapy... If you've been the strong one for everyone around you... If you've done everything you thought you were supposed to do in grief—and you're still hurting just as deeply... If you're standing here, years into this journey, asking...
about 2 months ago • 8 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Today is the EVE of a New Year. 2026 And this comes with a pressure you didn't ask for and can't escape: the expectation of fresh starts, new beginnings, and transformation. Everyone's posting their year-in-review highlights. Their goals for 2026. Their excitement about what's coming. Their declarations of "new year, new me." And you're sitting there thinking: I don't want a new me. I want my old life back. I want the me who had a living child. The turn...
2 months ago • 11 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, It's December 23rd. Two days until Christmas. And if you've been on social media at all this week, you know there's a particular kind of torture you're navigating: the endless scroll of other families celebrating. The matching pajama photos. The family baking sessions with flour-covered faces and genuine laughter. The "our crew" photos with everyone present and accounted for. The holiday card photos where no one is missing. Every single post is a...
3 months ago • 9 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Maybe this is your first gift-buying season without them. Maybe it's your tenth. Either way, you're facing an impossible reality: your love for your child is still active, but all the old forms for expressing it are gone. The anguish of having love with nowhere to put it is one of the most difficult aspects of grief. The Questions That Haunt You Let me name the impossible decisions you're facing. Do you buy something for your child? Your body remembers...
3 months ago • 7 min read
Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, The holiday season is here. And if you’re grieving, it can feel like a nightmare unfolding in slow motion. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, or simply acknowledge the turning of the year, this season carries an unbearable weight when your child is no longer here in physical form. Maybe this is your first holiday season without them. Maybe many years have passed. Either way, the sounds, smells, and expectations of...
3 months ago • 9 min read