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Ning Tendo

Subscribe to receive weekly letters and sacred practices that honor your eternal bond with your child. You're not grieving incorrectly—you're navigating the most profound spiritual journey a mother can face: learning how love transcends death and how bonds endure beyond physical separation. Learn how to reunite with your child using the healing power of visitation dreams.

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LETTER 15: To the Grieving Mama whose rage at the unfairness of her child's death feels overwhelming…

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, I understand that sometimes you feel white-hot fury surging through you without warning. I know that you have moments when you want to scream at the universe until your throat is raw. I understand the times you find yourself filled with a rage so intense it frightens you—at God, the cosmos, fate, or the fundamental unfairness of a world where children die before their parents. You might slam doors, punch pillows, or more often, turn this fury inward...

Lavender and pink roses bloom together in a garden.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, I see you looking in the mirror, wondering who that stranger is staring back. Like you're watching someone else live your life while the real you is... somewhere else. Maybe lost. Maybe gone forever. Everything that used to feel natural—making dinner, showing up to work, having conversations with friends—now feels like you're acting in a play you never auditioned for. You catch yourself wondering, "Who am I without my child?" as if their death somehow...

A pink lotus flower blooms in the water.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Those songs that suddenly stop you in your tracks, the dates on the calendar that loom with dread, the places you can barely drive by, the scents or sounds that instantly transport you back to unbearable pain. And now, in these times when the world itself seems to be grieving—when news of children separated from mothers, families torn apart, and innocent lives lost floods your awareness—these collective tragedies can trigger your personal grief in ways...

Purple wildflowers bloom in a hazy landscape.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, The question “why” keeps circling in your mind day and night. “Why did this happen? Why my child? You are constantly seeking for meaning behind what seems like senseless loss. The "why" follows you everywhere, demanding answers that no one seems able to provide. You worry this persistent questioning is unhealthy—evidence that you're "stuck" in your grief, unable to "accept reality" or "move forward" as others suggest you should. You wonder if there's...

A bee lands on a pretty pink flower.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, I hear you say you cannot stop thinking about your child and they are on your mind 24/7. The memories play on repeat and the questions circle endlessly. You worry that your mind is broken—stuck in a loop that prevents you from healing or "moving forward" as others expect. You wonder if this endless thinking means you're not grieving "properly" or that you'll never find peace again. Spiritual Root Cause: This constant thinking isn't a broken thought...

A bee flies toward blue flowers.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, If you have ever had these thoughts that come in the darkest hours: "I don't want to do this anymore. I can't keep living this way. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up to this reality again." I see you. I see how you worry about these thoughts, perhaps feeling guilty for having them when you have other people who need you, yet the bone-deep weariness feels insurmountable. Spiritual Root Cause: This profound despair isn't just emotional...

Blurred flowers bloom in an impressionistic garden.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, I see the profound weariness that comes from maintaining the mask of competence and control. The way you've carefully constructed your public face each morning, ensuring your makeup covers the dark circles from sleepless nights, practicing the polite smile that keeps everyone comfortable. The internal rage you feel when someone praises you for "handling it so well" or tells you how much they admire your strength, when inside you're absolutely shattered....

A bright, geometric abstract design.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, I know you feel a deep sense of disconnection, even when surrounded by caring people. It feels like there is an invisible barrier separating you from others who haven't experienced child loss. Conversations feel superficial or exhausting, social gatherings have become overwhelming, and well-meaning advice often causes more pain than comfort. You've withdrawn not from lack of caring but from the sheer effort required to bridge this existential gap...

Pink flowers bloom against a white wall.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, Now that Mother's Day has passed, perhaps you are feeling emotionally depleted, relieved it's over, or surprised by unexpected waves of grief that continue to wash over you. Maybe the day brought painful moments of invisibility if your only child has died, or perhaps you're exhausted from the emotional complexity of celebrating with living children while missing another. Some of you might have received beautiful acknowledgment of your continuing...

Yellow magnolia flowers blossom on a branch.

Letters to A Grieving Mama Dear Reader, The ache you feel when thinking about all the moments you’ll never witness with your child is profoundly valid. The birthdays you will never celebrate, the graduations and weddings you will neve attend- this pain cuts so deep precisely because it represents real loss. You invested your heart, your dreams, and countless sacrifices in nurturing your child’s potential. Every decision you made, from the moment you knew of their existence, was woven with...